So You're Getting a New College Roommate: What to Do to Prevent Roommate Conflict

Whether a college roommate or some other living situation, moving into the same space with another person can be exciting-sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a bad way. At college, the housing department will do their best to get everyone a good match by putting you in a room or suite with someone who, hopefully, shares some similar interests. What they can't do is detect in advance all those habit and stylistic differences that you and your new roommate will have. Your job is to make sure that-as much as possible-you prevent small differences from becoming unbearable problems.

Truth be told-college students may have had little preparation in knowing how to live in close proximity with another person or how to work out difficulties. Some estimate as many of 25% of college students have always had their own bathroom rather than sharing with another person. Something as simple as scheduling when the room can be quiet for studying and what to do about a dirty toilet can be challenging when you've never had to think about these issues before. Add in the complexity of creating a new life at college with new people, and it is easy to see how roommates sometimes make a bad start.

The Effects of Roommate Conflict

Here's what we know about roommates who have a bad experience.

It is stressful. As a result, students who have roommate problems tend toward less overall success at college. Students who want to get away from a roommate problem, may do so my quitting college completely. Stress also is linked to personal problems such as fatigue, depression, and alcohol use.

One of the best determinants of roommate success is the individual's hardiness-ability to deal with problems and day-to-day stress. Hardiness is related to stronger feelings of being in control of one's life.

We also know from research about 25% of students will have some degree of conflict with their roommate and that females are more likely to seek help from resident advisors than males.

What roommates typically have conflicts about also is relatively clear. While every situation will be somewhat unique, the most common areas of difficulty are:

• cleanliness
• noise
• drinking
• having sex in the room/shower
• sharing of expenses.

What Can Be Done?

The most important thing for new roommates seems to be talking to each other early and clearly about expectations and negotiating rules for living in the room/suite/house. The New Roommate Conflict Kit and other ideas you will find from your university or on the internet are good tools for roommates to work through that conversation. By taking a simple survey about some of the main issues that research shows cause conflict, roommates can work out a plan for these flash points before they occur.

Resources to Help Negotiating with a New Roommate

McCorkle, Suzanne, Ph.D. "The New Roommate Conflict Kit: How to Manage College Roommate Conflict" I-Tunes book store.

Research on Roommate Conflict

McCorkle, Suzanne, Ph.D and Mason, Susan, Ph.D "Conflict in Residence Halls: A Preliminary Study of the Efficacy of Roommate Negotiations to Reduce Roommate Conflict,"2009. Available through Boise State Universeity Scholar Works.

Posted By: Athens Commons http://athenscommons.com